Alternative Doll Choices to the Big "B"

The two big girls became increasingly interested in fancy dolls like Barbie. But I will not have Barbie in the house. Not only are there myriad studies out there that show that having that doll directly harms self esteem and body image, but it's part of a larger commercialism that is likewise unhealthy and does not belong in our home. By allowing those things into our house I would be implicitly showing my children that these things are okay and acceptable when in reality they are a detriment to health and happiness.

My girls have seen these dolls at friends' houses (and everywhere), and got to the age where they wanted more big kid and fancy dolls to play with. So, I undertook finding alternatives that are still fancy, but not of crazy proportions, adult figures, nor sexualized. Here are the three options I narrowed it down to:


Lammily
These dolls are 11" tall, and really well proportioned to look like an average healthy gal. They are fully pose-able with nice hair. There are not many options as they only have a brunette light skinned doll and a black hair darker skinned doll.  There are several outfits available that come with accessories such as shoes. Most unique to this doll is optional packs that can add physical character to the doll (like scars, a mole, glasses, or band-aid), and also a pack that explores menstruation. This doll is more of a grown-up, teenager type doll that I would wait to get my kids until they themselves were older. 
There are no boy/male dolls.




Only Hearts Club
www.onlyheartsclub.com
These dolls have soft, fully pose-able bodies, but molded head and hands with rooted hair. They do not wear make-up and have facial features that are proportionate. There is a great variety of clothing, pets (which including horses and unicorns to ride), accessories like sleeping bags, and even a line of little siblings. These dolls primarily just be girls in whatever way your child wishes to play them as; they do not come with pre-made personalities or styles, and could represent a variety of ages. They do not have boy/male dolls. 


 

Little Miss Matched

Little Miss Matched dolls are 15" tall and have fifteen points of articulation making them very pose-able. They are sporty or play music, and do not have career or interest based options. They do not seem wear make-up, but they do have the large eyed look, are are very tween targeted. They are limited in options and accessories with are only clothing. There are no boy/male dolls.










Lottie Dolls
Lottie does all kinds of things! from being a fossil hunter to a kid who jumps in puddles. She has a child's body and her knees bend, and she can even stand on her feet. The clothing is real clothing a normal person might wear, and she comes in several ethnicities. She doesn't wear make-up, but she does have the big eyes. They even have a male/boy doll.






We opted to get the Only Hearts Club dolls as our first, main dolls. The girls also requested that the "arms and legs move", and these dolls are fully pose-able not just at articulation points but all over. The variety of colors and skin tones means each of my daughters has one that looks like her. I also liked how simple and open ended the play was, and the softness of these dolls made them more friendly.


EDIT:  Since writing this post and getting our dolls, Only Hearts Club seems to have gone out of business and their website is no long there!  I think I will be stocking up on these dolls and their accessories on eBay and such while I still can to have on hand for the next daughter, and in case ours break (we play hard, and our dolls climb trees and hang from chandeliers!). 

Why the movie "Frozen" is Acceptable for Eastern Christians

I am very aware and picky about media and what we allow in our house.  The overt and subtle and implied messages of such impactful mediums like tv and movies are not to be underestimated.  

You can imagine my own surprise when I previewed a Disney film and found it acceptable for my family. But I actually found the themes in this film bolstered our family's understandings. I was dumbfounded.I think that's one of the reasons I like this movie so much -- it jives with our o/Orthodox world view & much of our view of how human nature works.


My qualms with the movie "Frozen" and so small that they're almost not worth mentioning. A sexist gibe about blond hair being unmanly, and the sexy clothing Elsa changes/transforms in to are not really age appropriate (but there is truth about human life phases presented in that, as well). 

There are several themes in the film that are worth exploring -- and wonderfully noteworthy that they are presented in such a commercial children's film. This blog post is going to focus on the meaning/s of "Let It Go" and the nature of Elsa' transformation as surrender and release; the letting go of fear, anger, and resentment.  Through relationship Elsa actually gains a kind of control through surrender. It's one of the major paradoxs of Christian life.

Fr Michael Mandelas once told me that all fear and anger are a reaction to lack of control. Elsa's powers were out of control and harming others becasue she was out of control -- her own attempts at control were an illusion. All control is an illusion, and when we give in to the ego's whisperings that we can in fact control life, control others, we are very possibly falling into a spiralling trap that feeds on itself and takes us further away from our desired path with God. 




In the moments of the song, Elsa lets go of the fear & resentment -- but not entirely. She takes the first steps to be a conscious & active agent in her own life by moving beyond, cutting free the past, and trying to start new. She is taking the powerful first steps in shedding the abuse and cultural expectations that are holding her back from her potential and happiness.

It is not until Love is re-established in Elsa's life by the grace of her sister Anna's actions that she can really release the fear and anger, and surrender the control. That is when the path is clearer to her to become healed and moving rightly again. In the Eastern Christian view of the world, our salvation is not an individual pursuit -- the key lies in communion with on another, community and active participation in one another's lives. Elsa can't do it alone. 


When we live in love and trust in God, we no longer need the clinging to control, and the fear, resentment, and anger will begin to no longer have a place in our lives; they will no longer control us.

fear does not prevent death -- it prevents life

It seems very Eastern to me -- letting go of the ego, and not letting one's passions control oneself is the way to peace, self control, and however a person practices their asceticism, whatever path gets them there, the eventual goal is to "let it go" so that the block to relationship with God is no longer there.

When Elsa surrendered & understood that she was really, truly loved and valued as evidenced by Anna's act, she was able to let things flow and her abilities were able to finally be manifested for good instead of a reaction to the abuse & isolation she had suffered for years.The talents she had been given by God, and purposefully created with, were finally about to come to real fruition and use. 

"gDiapers, anyone?" or "Cute Green Tush Here We Come!"

I've tried lots, and lots of diapers in the course of taking care of the four wonderful little butts I've been honored to care for: disposables, cloth, natural, conventional, velcro tabs, snap tabs, biodegradable, all-in-ones, prefolds, etc.  It's gets tiring. Really, I just want a diaper that isn't going to chemical-up my children, and that still lets me try and be a good steward of the Earth.  I also hate diapers that use my kid's rear end as a place to do their marketing. 

So, now I'm going to try gDiapers at the urging of a friend.   They came in the mail today with my order from Diapers.com
-- I really like the packaging, as in there isn't much at all.
-- The cute green cover comes in an unmarked ziploc type bag that can reused for other things.  The refills/inserts come in a tight little package.  nothing extra.  My little baby boy for whom these diapers are intended has a name that starts with "G" so the little embroidered "g" actaully works for me instead of just being extra commercialism. They velcro in the back so that little hands can't easily take it off. 
-- You can get cloth inserts or "disposable" inserts that can be thrown away in the garbage or compost to biodegrade, or be broken up in the toilet bowl and simply flushed. There is also an additional liner you can purchase (which I didn't get this time) to help contain the really messy poops.
-- The cost is agreeable to our budget.  They are not as inexpensive per each as the really yucky chemical filled diapers, but they match or beat the price of buying the natural sposie diapes. 

I look forward to giving these a try!   Plus, we'll look so much more put-together than just my naked baby in a diaper; they'll look like little pants of cuteness.